BOY-SHAPED HOLES

Quote of the day: “God can’t fill boy-shaped holes. Only boys can.”

That came out faster than Lirps realised and the moment it was out, it was for guffaws. We just couldn’t get over ourselves and were practically rolling off our chairs in laughter. I had brought up the subject of a void in life that God couldn’t fill. As much as I wouldn’t like to say it, as much as God is my all-sufficient, he can’t play the role of fellowship partner. Lirps was making the point that, that was right since we were made for relationships, that we were made man and woman and if we were sufficient in and of ourselves, there wouldn’t have been a need for the other gender. God can’t fill boy-shaped holes. Only boys can. She cracks me up. It’s so quote-worthy.

I know I have been very self-centred lately and I know I can get away with it at the moment. I'm supposed to be entitled to some share of it since, I’m going away and I have a lot on my plate to handle at the moment. But what kind of attitude is “I’ve got too much on my plate to deal with at the moment, I don’t want to deal with anything else”? If I get away with this now, what’s to say I won’t get away the next time, after all, there is always going to be something on my plate to deal with at the moment. If I wait till things are right and “dealt with”, will I ever get the chance to be selfless? Is it even possible for the time to be “right”? No. There isn’t. There is no right time to be selfless. The right time is all the time.

When Lirps brough up shopping ideas for Christmas, I realized I wasn’t even thinking of christmas shopping, at all. In fact, I thought I was doing pretty well to go the effort for christmas cards already. Rather satisfied with myself for that effort. I took some effort in writing the cards, but I’ve forgotten to give out a few already and I’m not sure I’ll bother or remember to before I leave even though I have the best intention. In fact, honestly - what I’ve been writing in one christmas card has started sounding like the rest already. I know I’m going to be so caught up in myself and although I know I need the space, what is excusable isn’t helpful. I feel I owe Lirps an apology for being so self-centred and neglecting to concern myself with her concerns. She's so precious to me and her friendship is important that I shouldn't ever take it for granted.

God, I’m sorry I’ve been so self-centred about my going away even though I should have known better that there would be you to take care of that and my bigger worries so I could concern myself with the responsibilities of being your child. Thank you for blessing me greatly with this beautiful friendship. Please take care of Lirps. Please keep her close to your heart, tight in your palm. Please keep her always aware of your loving presence and bring people into her life that will continue to encourage her.