A GOOD REMINDER TO MYSELF: Journal entry dated in June 2003
A few years ago, an incident occurred that snapped me from my childish daydreams and woke me up to tell me to ‘grow up’ and get with being an adult, the future I perceived was going t happen, wasn't going to happen as planned. My idealistic bubble burst. Prior to that, I had never had the premonition of ‘being’ an adult, Iassumed it would just happen. But, since that time, I have stopped daydreaming and been been thinking about what I should be doing, where I should be going, where I should have been, how come I’m not there, what do I do to get there and the idea of the ‘yet to come’. If only I were already 'there', wouldn't I be happier than here and where I was?
Apparently, there is nothing quite like a secure, future, significant job to usher you into being the
independent adult that our mothers can’t wait for. So, I had my plans. I would focus on my academic career and prepare for the working world. Then perhaps I would settle into work, find a church, a cell group, a bible study group, metamorphose into an independent adult from the student that I am.
Plans, like promises are always made to be broken. like Robbie William’s song Feel, “I speak to God, tell him my plans. He just laughs at me.” It feels like that sometimes. And at some points it is so frustrating because as long as I haven't known that there was somewhere that I didn't know I was suppose to be headed, I have been in ‘limbo’. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, didn’t know where I was going - there were a lot of things I didn’t know and everybody wanted to know what's next. All I could do was sit tight and ride this roller coaster till the end.
I've realized that no sense of certainty at this present point of time and state of mind would be
fulfilling for the sole reason that I spend too much time as it is focusing on getting to somewhere that I probably would find it hard to be here when it comes. My plans look like this: next week, next month, next year. And when next week comes around, I already know I do not have room for anything else. I miss everything here. I’m driven by something yet to come but always miss it when I arrive.
True, the decisions we makes over the next few years will affect us for the rest of our life, and I hope and pray we'll make wise choices. But we shouldn't be so concerned about the future that we fail to live in the present. Think about it: We work hard in high school for grades and test scores that will get us into college. We work hard in college so that we can get a degree and a good job when we finish. We use the money from that good job to support ourselves, or
maybe a spouse and children. When the children are grown, we work for a few more years, then retire and enjoy our grandkids. Then, the end!
When I think of life that way, "What's there to show for a lifetime of work, a lifetime of working your fingers to the bone?" (Ecclesiastes 1:3).
Here’s a thought. Let's stop focusing so much on getting there. There is not going to be any better than where you are now. Not at least emotionally, mentally or spiritually if you don't pay attention to now. And those are the things that count. So, I’m going to work on not obsessing about the future. Forget getting anxious over the there and the future which I should be working towards. It will come at its own time, in its own pace. If we take time to live in the present, we can enjoy the journey of life, wherever it takes us. And that's what I'm hoping we will do—it's what I'm learning to do, too. Living in the present means rejoicing in each new day God gives me, and living one day at a time. It's enjoying all the little gifts and surprises he's made for us—the warmth of sunlight on your face or the delicious chill of fall, the satisfaction of doing something well, the warmth of being rugged up and in the warm when its pouring outside, the taste of your warm pudding with butterscotch sauce, or the raucous, wiggly-giggly joy of a group of toddlers at church.
It's keeping my eyes of faith wide open so I'll see where God is leading me one moment at a time. It's valuing relationships and people more than money and things. It's living every day the best way I can. It's starting over after I've messed up. It's blowing bubbles in the park on a winter day as it were here in Sydney, just because it makes me feel good.
So, that's my encouragement to you. Don't just live—be alive! After all, those of us who know Jesus, can live lives full of purpose and meaning, peace and joy. That's the promise of John 10:10—an abundant life!
Learning to listen, The Chilibuddy.
Apparently, there is nothing quite like a secure, future, significant job to usher you into being the
independent adult that our mothers can’t wait for. So, I had my plans. I would focus on my academic career and prepare for the working world. Then perhaps I would settle into work, find a church, a cell group, a bible study group, metamorphose into an independent adult from the student that I am.
Plans, like promises are always made to be broken. like Robbie William’s song Feel, “I speak to God, tell him my plans. He just laughs at me.” It feels like that sometimes. And at some points it is so frustrating because as long as I haven't known that there was somewhere that I didn't know I was suppose to be headed, I have been in ‘limbo’. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, didn’t know where I was going - there were a lot of things I didn’t know and everybody wanted to know what's next. All I could do was sit tight and ride this roller coaster till the end.
I've realized that no sense of certainty at this present point of time and state of mind would be
fulfilling for the sole reason that I spend too much time as it is focusing on getting to somewhere that I probably would find it hard to be here when it comes. My plans look like this: next week, next month, next year. And when next week comes around, I already know I do not have room for anything else. I miss everything here. I’m driven by something yet to come but always miss it when I arrive.
True, the decisions we makes over the next few years will affect us for the rest of our life, and I hope and pray we'll make wise choices. But we shouldn't be so concerned about the future that we fail to live in the present. Think about it: We work hard in high school for grades and test scores that will get us into college. We work hard in college so that we can get a degree and a good job when we finish. We use the money from that good job to support ourselves, or
maybe a spouse and children. When the children are grown, we work for a few more years, then retire and enjoy our grandkids. Then, the end!
When I think of life that way, "What's there to show for a lifetime of work, a lifetime of working your fingers to the bone?" (Ecclesiastes 1:3).
Here’s a thought. Let's stop focusing so much on getting there. There is not going to be any better than where you are now. Not at least emotionally, mentally or spiritually if you don't pay attention to now. And those are the things that count. So, I’m going to work on not obsessing about the future. Forget getting anxious over the there and the future which I should be working towards. It will come at its own time, in its own pace. If we take time to live in the present, we can enjoy the journey of life, wherever it takes us. And that's what I'm hoping we will do—it's what I'm learning to do, too. Living in the present means rejoicing in each new day God gives me, and living one day at a time. It's enjoying all the little gifts and surprises he's made for us—the warmth of sunlight on your face or the delicious chill of fall, the satisfaction of doing something well, the warmth of being rugged up and in the warm when its pouring outside, the taste of your warm pudding with butterscotch sauce, or the raucous, wiggly-giggly joy of a group of toddlers at church.
It's keeping my eyes of faith wide open so I'll see where God is leading me one moment at a time. It's valuing relationships and people more than money and things. It's living every day the best way I can. It's starting over after I've messed up. It's blowing bubbles in the park on a winter day as it were here in Sydney, just because it makes me feel good.
So, that's my encouragement to you. Don't just live—be alive! After all, those of us who know Jesus, can live lives full of purpose and meaning, peace and joy. That's the promise of John 10:10—an abundant life!
Learning to listen, The Chilibuddy.
posted by The Chilibuddy @ 11:36 pm ::
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