CRIMINAL OFFENCE
Dear friends, I have news.
I have been inpossession of illegal drugs. And the rest of the gaijin teachers here too are guilty of drug trafficing. But, hush. We’re not about to get deported - yet. When entering the Japanese customs, no word is mentioned about what you can and cannot bring into the country. You are simply to declare whatever personal effects you have to the duties; plant quarantine and animal quarantine and the tax duty office. You’re not supposed to bring anything plant-like such as wood. That makes sense to those of us from Australia, island continent and all. But no one, absolutely no friend will tell you what you cannot bring in paracetemol. Ignorance is truly bliss. “Anything to declare?” No, not carrying any illegal substance on my person, not to my knowledge. “Nope. Nothing to declare.” You see, they all want you to be their great friends and bring some paracetamol in while you don’t know that you ought to declare them. Yes siree, paracetemol is an illegal drug! Painkillers here are a pain to get and when you get them, they come in a powder form which you pop into your mouth and then send down to your guts with water. You see, the powder is really organic clay, powdered down and then sprayed with whatever drug of issue. A real yuck to consume but a lot faster for the body to absorb, more surface area per unit area kind of thing. Small dosages, five times a day after meals. But, who has time for five meals a day?! There you are, we gaijin are all illegal drug trafficers, providing illegal drugs to our fellow gaijin. So, next time you want to send me your love, I’ll accept them in capsules, caplets and tablets.
Again, on the topic of music: These days, after acquiring somewhat of a routine for the workweek, I have realized, there is no need for me to set my alarm clock. Not only because I start most of my working days at 12pm (to all you green eyed monsters: I still put in my 8 hours in school like every other cog in the wheel), but I say I don't need to set my alarm clock because, even the garbage collection truck plays a tuneful melody promptly at 9am everyday with different ones for the various types of garbage being collected (variety after all is the spice of life after all and in Japan with all the working hours/days they put in, they need all the spice and variety they can get). Dumping rubbish here take logistical accuity: Three general segregations exists, bottles of all materials, metal, glass and plastics, burnable and unburnable or otherwise known as “General household waste” means scrap and compost, “Metals and glass” (see: Canned coffee and tea and also see: Dietary supplements - such as fibre drinks to make up for the low fibre diet - whoever said Japanese ate a lot of greens was lying to me. You know who you are; did you know liars go to hell?), PET plastics (See: again Drinks), paper and the list goes on. This seems plain enough to understand until one attempts the simplests of meals, instant noodles. Chopsticks are either disposable wooden ones (Burnable or General household waste?) or your own (wash and reuse as per normal). What do you do with the plastic wrapping (unburnable PET plastic), the styrofoam bowl (unburnable) or the waxed paper cups (burnable), the lid which although made of paper (burnable) is lined with aluminium (unburnable) on the other side. Your drink, of course, of green tea or sweeten milk soda comes in a plastic bottle (Bottles; PET plastic) canned coffee (bottles; metal), health supplement drinks (bottles; glass) or drinks that attempt to market to the unknowing gaijin are brought to you by the random alphabets “B”, “C” and the words “amino” and “fibre”. Throw in your used napkin, serviette, or tissue (paper: burnable), wet napkin wrapping (Unburnable; PET plastic) into your bento box (unburnable; styrofoam), your plastic fish with soya sauce (unburnable or bottle: PET plastic), the paper wrap that comes with the disposable chopsticks, the rubber band that holds the lid (plastic; unburnable) to the bento box, throw them all into the plastic bag that was used to hold your meal when you bought it, and you have an outright logistical nightmare that you actually paid 600yen for.
I have been inpossession of illegal drugs. And the rest of the gaijin teachers here too are guilty of drug trafficing. But, hush. We’re not about to get deported - yet. When entering the Japanese customs, no word is mentioned about what you can and cannot bring into the country. You are simply to declare whatever personal effects you have to the duties; plant quarantine and animal quarantine and the tax duty office. You’re not supposed to bring anything plant-like such as wood. That makes sense to those of us from Australia, island continent and all. But no one, absolutely no friend will tell you what you cannot bring in paracetemol. Ignorance is truly bliss. “Anything to declare?” No, not carrying any illegal substance on my person, not to my knowledge. “Nope. Nothing to declare.” You see, they all want you to be their great friends and bring some paracetamol in while you don’t know that you ought to declare them. Yes siree, paracetemol is an illegal drug! Painkillers here are a pain to get and when you get them, they come in a powder form which you pop into your mouth and then send down to your guts with water. You see, the powder is really organic clay, powdered down and then sprayed with whatever drug of issue. A real yuck to consume but a lot faster for the body to absorb, more surface area per unit area kind of thing. Small dosages, five times a day after meals. But, who has time for five meals a day?! There you are, we gaijin are all illegal drug trafficers, providing illegal drugs to our fellow gaijin. So, next time you want to send me your love, I’ll accept them in capsules, caplets and tablets.
Again, on the topic of music: These days, after acquiring somewhat of a routine for the workweek, I have realized, there is no need for me to set my alarm clock. Not only because I start most of my working days at 12pm (to all you green eyed monsters: I still put in my 8 hours in school like every other cog in the wheel), but I say I don't need to set my alarm clock because, even the garbage collection truck plays a tuneful melody promptly at 9am everyday with different ones for the various types of garbage being collected (variety after all is the spice of life after all and in Japan with all the working hours/days they put in, they need all the spice and variety they can get). Dumping rubbish here take logistical accuity: Three general segregations exists, bottles of all materials, metal, glass and plastics, burnable and unburnable or otherwise known as “General household waste” means scrap and compost, “Metals and glass” (see: Canned coffee and tea and also see: Dietary supplements - such as fibre drinks to make up for the low fibre diet - whoever said Japanese ate a lot of greens was lying to me. You know who you are; did you know liars go to hell?), PET plastics (See: again Drinks), paper and the list goes on. This seems plain enough to understand until one attempts the simplests of meals, instant noodles. Chopsticks are either disposable wooden ones (Burnable or General household waste?) or your own (wash and reuse as per normal). What do you do with the plastic wrapping (unburnable PET plastic), the styrofoam bowl (unburnable) or the waxed paper cups (burnable), the lid which although made of paper (burnable) is lined with aluminium (unburnable) on the other side. Your drink, of course, of green tea or sweeten milk soda comes in a plastic bottle (Bottles; PET plastic) canned coffee (bottles; metal), health supplement drinks (bottles; glass) or drinks that attempt to market to the unknowing gaijin are brought to you by the random alphabets “B”, “C” and the words “amino” and “fibre”. Throw in your used napkin, serviette, or tissue (paper: burnable), wet napkin wrapping (Unburnable; PET plastic) into your bento box (unburnable; styrofoam), your plastic fish with soya sauce (unburnable or bottle: PET plastic), the paper wrap that comes with the disposable chopsticks, the rubber band that holds the lid (plastic; unburnable) to the bento box, throw them all into the plastic bag that was used to hold your meal when you bought it, and you have an outright logistical nightmare that you actually paid 600yen for.
posted by The Chilibuddy @ 9:04 pm ::
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