OF HAIR-EATING HAIRDRYERS, WALKING INTO POSTS AND THE LOCAL CUISINE
I have now been in Japan for two months, to the day. It's definitely felt longer than that. Well, I'm finally glad to say I have made progress: I am now writing this in the comfort of my apartment. With this super-dooper speed DSL connection, comes the wonders of the internet ex-Japan: cheap-ass internet telephony (it costs even less to phone international than it would for you to speak to your friend in the same city), internet radio (from all around the world. See: Ly-ann's Speak English campaign) and apparently roadband television, if I can figure out how to set it up. Finally, my life bears some similitude to normalcy, if ever it bore one in the first place.
HAIR-EATING HAIRDRYERS
This must be a hairdressers absolute nightmare. I have had my hair eaten up by a Japanese hairdryer. I know, how on earth is that possible? While most things are light years ahead of the rest of the world, the humble hairdryer has been left on the shelf. Take a look at yours. It probably has some sort of casing behind the drying barrel. PAY ATTENTION TO IT. APPRECIATE THAT ITS THERE. Because, if it wasn't, it might just eat your hair up too. So, one unfortunate evening a few weeks ago, after a tedious day at work and one smoky eating establishment, I proceeded to give my head of hair a drying after a wash. Hairdrying is such a tricky business, its like juggling; between one hand holding the hairdryer, the other one with the comb and brush and trying to get an even dry, the hairdryer-without-barrel-casing decided it was time to have its dinner. Air goes in one end and comes out the other... I was only so lucky that my hair didn't come out the other end. But it got entangled in the fan blades and there was nothing I could do to get it out. At that time, I wasn't even settled into my apartment let alone have a pair of scissors on hand. Well, I couldn't anyway. So, there was this hairdryer hanging off my head. With all the cultural stress that I have had to deal with this was the last straw I could take that night. I could only stare in horror at the sight of myself in the mirror with glassy eyes. I figured, I couldn't very well go to work the next day like this, it was either I find someway to remove this implement from my head or take the next flight out of Japan. It almost came to the pull-and-yank (yeowch!) which would have left a bare patch on my scalp, but thankfully, I had a shaving blade with me. I never imagined I would be using that blade to shave my head of all places. But desperate situations call for desperate measures. When I finally removed myself from the machine, I noticed a tag in Japanese (I couldn't have seen it where the hairdryer had attached itself to my person). Well, of course I couldn't have read it anyway to note its warning! I still have that knot of hair somewhere in my cosmetics bag. For posterity. So I'll always remember that when it came to it, I almost would have left Japan because of a hairdryer.
WALKING INTO LAMPPOSTS, POLES AND BARRICADES
It's never really happened to me before, but I've managed to do it a few times here. May I defend myself first by saying that the Japanese are smaller people and even these things come in different sizes. After two months, no similitude of normalcy shows any sign of abating the condition of the perplexed foreigner. In all cases, I was too busy staring at some strange Japanese sight that defied explanation and then suddenly stopped in my tracks. Leaving me to wonder, "What? Whats the problem, why can't I...", thinking paralysis had taken over my legs in the cold, only to look down to see the cause of it just in time to catch myself before tripping. You really can't blame me. I ask so many questions, I must drive my colleague a little batty. Still, I don't get answers. Most Japanese don't know about Japan.
We are bewildered and curious about their culture. But the response to my questions are usually, "I never thought of things/questions like that". Take my favourite topic for example: Food. The Osaka Speciality: Takoyaki and Okonomiyaki. The foodie in me wants to know: why? why the "yaki"? Yaki means grilled/fried. Yakitori is chicken kebabs, yakisoba is "goreng" (fried) soba noodles, takoyaki: grilled balls of batter with an assortment of condiments most importantly octopuss ("tako-") and okonomiyaki: a grilled mixture of flour, egg, cabbage and a variety of meats on a hotplate, topped with bonito (paper thin slices of smoked tuna) and mustard mayo. So, what is with all the "yaki"? Why is Kansai, "yaki" country? What makes it their speciality? How and why did it happen? Did some Meiji emperor wake up one day and decreed, "I like fried and grilled foods, lets make it Kansai's speciality"? I have yet to find my answer.
How about something a little simpler: Japanese pickles. You know the one that always comes on the side of your meal? If one expects any respectable japanese kitchen to having a jar of gari, homemade pickled ginger, I wonder how that happens here since, asking one of my colleagues, a middle-aged mother with two girls, turned up a blank face when for wanting to make it, I queried, "how do you make these pickled ginger? Why is it red?" After being rocketed at she finally said, "Vinegar. Maybe colouring. Thats why red. I don't know." Hah.
Makes you wonder what is being Japanese. One of my friends rightly asked: do they eat sushi and sashimi at home? I asked: do they eat off square/rectangular plates and bamboo? All valid questions. My answer: Sushi and eating off square/rectangular plates is as much an event for them, as it is for us when we go to a Japanese restaurant. Like the average Australian, the average Japanese eats off whatever convenient plate he/she can procure from the cupboard whilst doing the balancing act of a few pots off the stove. As for sushi, its "ten-sushi", which is more like maki (rolls) then sushi. "Ten" means "hand". Again convinience is the key, seaweed serves as base on your palm and everything else goes on top, then make like a (chicken/kebab) roll. Nothing like the sushi _we_ eat. So, next time you go Japanese for dinner, get a maki and don't buy in to the cultural myth.
Love, your Gaijin-in-disguise.
Audio: Usher featuring Lil. on HitzRadio.com. Internet Radio-logy!
Biblio: Bushido: The Soul of Japan by Inazo Nitobe.
Cerebrio: Life is not so bad. Its getting back to normal.
HAIR-EATING HAIRDRYERS
This must be a hairdressers absolute nightmare. I have had my hair eaten up by a Japanese hairdryer. I know, how on earth is that possible? While most things are light years ahead of the rest of the world, the humble hairdryer has been left on the shelf. Take a look at yours. It probably has some sort of casing behind the drying barrel. PAY ATTENTION TO IT. APPRECIATE THAT ITS THERE. Because, if it wasn't, it might just eat your hair up too. So, one unfortunate evening a few weeks ago, after a tedious day at work and one smoky eating establishment, I proceeded to give my head of hair a drying after a wash. Hairdrying is such a tricky business, its like juggling; between one hand holding the hairdryer, the other one with the comb and brush and trying to get an even dry, the hairdryer-without-barrel-casing decided it was time to have its dinner. Air goes in one end and comes out the other... I was only so lucky that my hair didn't come out the other end. But it got entangled in the fan blades and there was nothing I could do to get it out. At that time, I wasn't even settled into my apartment let alone have a pair of scissors on hand. Well, I couldn't anyway. So, there was this hairdryer hanging off my head. With all the cultural stress that I have had to deal with this was the last straw I could take that night. I could only stare in horror at the sight of myself in the mirror with glassy eyes. I figured, I couldn't very well go to work the next day like this, it was either I find someway to remove this implement from my head or take the next flight out of Japan. It almost came to the pull-and-yank (yeowch!) which would have left a bare patch on my scalp, but thankfully, I had a shaving blade with me. I never imagined I would be using that blade to shave my head of all places. But desperate situations call for desperate measures. When I finally removed myself from the machine, I noticed a tag in Japanese (I couldn't have seen it where the hairdryer had attached itself to my person). Well, of course I couldn't have read it anyway to note its warning! I still have that knot of hair somewhere in my cosmetics bag. For posterity. So I'll always remember that when it came to it, I almost would have left Japan because of a hairdryer.
WALKING INTO LAMPPOSTS, POLES AND BARRICADES
It's never really happened to me before, but I've managed to do it a few times here. May I defend myself first by saying that the Japanese are smaller people and even these things come in different sizes. After two months, no similitude of normalcy shows any sign of abating the condition of the perplexed foreigner. In all cases, I was too busy staring at some strange Japanese sight that defied explanation and then suddenly stopped in my tracks. Leaving me to wonder, "What? Whats the problem, why can't I...", thinking paralysis had taken over my legs in the cold, only to look down to see the cause of it just in time to catch myself before tripping. You really can't blame me. I ask so many questions, I must drive my colleague a little batty. Still, I don't get answers. Most Japanese don't know about Japan.
We are bewildered and curious about their culture. But the response to my questions are usually, "I never thought of things/questions like that". Take my favourite topic for example: Food. The Osaka Speciality: Takoyaki and Okonomiyaki. The foodie in me wants to know: why? why the "yaki"? Yaki means grilled/fried. Yakitori is chicken kebabs, yakisoba is "goreng" (fried) soba noodles, takoyaki: grilled balls of batter with an assortment of condiments most importantly octopuss ("tako-") and okonomiyaki: a grilled mixture of flour, egg, cabbage and a variety of meats on a hotplate, topped with bonito (paper thin slices of smoked tuna) and mustard mayo. So, what is with all the "yaki"? Why is Kansai, "yaki" country? What makes it their speciality? How and why did it happen? Did some Meiji emperor wake up one day and decreed, "I like fried and grilled foods, lets make it Kansai's speciality"? I have yet to find my answer.
How about something a little simpler: Japanese pickles. You know the one that always comes on the side of your meal? If one expects any respectable japanese kitchen to having a jar of gari, homemade pickled ginger, I wonder how that happens here since, asking one of my colleagues, a middle-aged mother with two girls, turned up a blank face when for wanting to make it, I queried, "how do you make these pickled ginger? Why is it red?" After being rocketed at she finally said, "Vinegar. Maybe colouring. Thats why red. I don't know." Hah.
Makes you wonder what is being Japanese. One of my friends rightly asked: do they eat sushi and sashimi at home? I asked: do they eat off square/rectangular plates and bamboo? All valid questions. My answer: Sushi and eating off square/rectangular plates is as much an event for them, as it is for us when we go to a Japanese restaurant. Like the average Australian, the average Japanese eats off whatever convenient plate he/she can procure from the cupboard whilst doing the balancing act of a few pots off the stove. As for sushi, its "ten-sushi", which is more like maki (rolls) then sushi. "Ten" means "hand". Again convinience is the key, seaweed serves as base on your palm and everything else goes on top, then make like a (chicken/kebab) roll. Nothing like the sushi _we_ eat. So, next time you go Japanese for dinner, get a maki and don't buy in to the cultural myth.
Love, your Gaijin-in-disguise.
Audio: Usher featuring Lil. on HitzRadio.com. Internet Radio-logy!
Biblio: Bushido: The Soul of Japan by Inazo Nitobe.
Cerebrio: Life is not so bad. Its getting back to normal.
posted by The Chilibuddy @ 12:29 am ::
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