GREAT EXPECTATIONS
It was a mediocre birthday with great intentions to say the least. It started out well enough and was only dampened by the unending downpour.
I had woken up to a birthday breakfast of strawberry grain smoothie, hawaiian coffee and pancakes and two pressie at the table, a book and a bike torch for my mountain bike. Very well thought of presents! And mom and dad called before I left for work. School was generally decent too and the grade above mine pulled me aside for a two minutes after school to sing me a birthday tune. No prizes for guess who was the mastermind behind it. It had been going well!
My plans to salvage the washed out weekend was to go out for dinner for my all time favourite of Japanese cuisines, the sushi bar. But those plans were blown away; it was really miserable weather to be going out and the center of the storm hadn't even arrived yet.
Just for a few hours, one day in a year, I wanted it all to be about me, me and me, but nothing I wanted was going to happen. Not even chilling out at home over the movie Frida which I thought I had rented but, of course, didn't. And just before dinner, I hit my nadir. I just lay on the couch sulking and pouting, trying to reason myself out of it and into good spirits. I knew I was being incredibly selfish this evening and I was validating myself at it. But then I also knew, birthdays weren't all they made out to be. Yes, its a day to celebrate that God saw fit I should join society, but its was also just another regular day, the earth wasn't going to stop circling the sun and the moon wasn't going to hold its place. You could celebrate your existence any day of the year really!
I guess all I wanted for was some attention, thank goodness God loved me enough to have someone give me attention even if I was foul company. And really, that was all I needed to feel a lot better about the fiasco. I am disapointed that the weekend looks like its going to be wasted. On the other hand, I want to step out in faith and believe that God will see through the weekend to make something of it. This time, no high expectations, no fanfare and no fireworks.
Audio: The winds outside my window.
Biblio: The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie Omartian.
Cerebrio: God, if it is your will, show me an open door. Help me want your will for my life even if I don't know what I am getting myself into. Fill me, empower me to face those open doors bravely and give me peace to accept the doors you open and close. Amen.
I had woken up to a birthday breakfast of strawberry grain smoothie, hawaiian coffee and pancakes and two pressie at the table, a book and a bike torch for my mountain bike. Very well thought of presents! And mom and dad called before I left for work. School was generally decent too and the grade above mine pulled me aside for a two minutes after school to sing me a birthday tune. No prizes for guess who was the mastermind behind it. It had been going well!
My plans to salvage the washed out weekend was to go out for dinner for my all time favourite of Japanese cuisines, the sushi bar. But those plans were blown away; it was really miserable weather to be going out and the center of the storm hadn't even arrived yet.
Just for a few hours, one day in a year, I wanted it all to be about me, me and me, but nothing I wanted was going to happen. Not even chilling out at home over the movie Frida which I thought I had rented but, of course, didn't. And just before dinner, I hit my nadir. I just lay on the couch sulking and pouting, trying to reason myself out of it and into good spirits. I knew I was being incredibly selfish this evening and I was validating myself at it. But then I also knew, birthdays weren't all they made out to be. Yes, its a day to celebrate that God saw fit I should join society, but its was also just another regular day, the earth wasn't going to stop circling the sun and the moon wasn't going to hold its place. You could celebrate your existence any day of the year really!
I guess all I wanted for was some attention, thank goodness God loved me enough to have someone give me attention even if I was foul company. And really, that was all I needed to feel a lot better about the fiasco. I am disapointed that the weekend looks like its going to be wasted. On the other hand, I want to step out in faith and believe that God will see through the weekend to make something of it. This time, no high expectations, no fanfare and no fireworks.
Audio: The winds outside my window.
Biblio: The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie Omartian.
Cerebrio: God, if it is your will, show me an open door. Help me want your will for my life even if I don't know what I am getting myself into. Fill me, empower me to face those open doors bravely and give me peace to accept the doors you open and close. Amen.
posted by The Chilibuddy @ 8:16 am ::
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