I CAN'T BE THIS SAD ABOUT LEAVING, CAN I?
For someone who wasn't the keenest on staying long in Japan, I'm finding it purplexing how sad I get when I think about the finality of leaving.
Jay announced my eventual in this month's PTA today. And Hirokun's mom welled up and teared on hearing that she would lose her neighbour. That's not a reaction I'm expecting from her. But then I realize that one thing I have done in AIS, is to share the love of my life with my kids. And I love my kids to death. And these arn't even m kids.
As I put Dan to bed this arvo, I wondered how many more opportunities I would get to look on the glint in his eyes, his wry smile or his hard-won kisses. And to think when I first started teaching the class, he wasn't exactly the first kid that grabbed my attention. Have I said that if I ever had a son, I would want my son to be exactly like Dan? That child has a beautiful heart. His mom's doing something right, for sure.
This isn't suppose to be an ode to my kids. I'm trying to say that I can't bear to think about leaving or starting to pack out stuff and calling the movers. I can't believe it's been a year and a half here already. In the reality of it, I don't really have a whole lot of time left and yet I manage to distract myself with boys. I keep thinking myself into vicious circles. The reason I managed to stay on so long, my work, my school, my kids, my church, - the reasons to keep staying - are also the reasons to go. More and more I think that I do want to make teaching a career. And staying in Singapore for three years might very well be worth it. I love what I do but when I look in the mirror, I wonder if I have the potential to be a good teacher. Can anyone imagine me making teaching my life? Anyone?
Audio: Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus / Give/ With Or Without You / Your Love Oh Lord medley by Third Day.
Biblio: I love my kids to death. And these arn't even m kids.
Jay announced my eventual in this month's PTA today. And Hirokun's mom welled up and teared on hearing that she would lose her neighbour. That's not a reaction I'm expecting from her. But then I realize that one thing I have done in AIS, is to share the love of my life with my kids. And I love my kids to death. And these arn't even m kids.
As I put Dan to bed this arvo, I wondered how many more opportunities I would get to look on the glint in his eyes, his wry smile or his hard-won kisses. And to think when I first started teaching the class, he wasn't exactly the first kid that grabbed my attention. Have I said that if I ever had a son, I would want my son to be exactly like Dan? That child has a beautiful heart. His mom's doing something right, for sure.
This isn't suppose to be an ode to my kids. I'm trying to say that I can't bear to think about leaving or starting to pack out stuff and calling the movers. I can't believe it's been a year and a half here already. In the reality of it, I don't really have a whole lot of time left and yet I manage to distract myself with boys. I keep thinking myself into vicious circles. The reason I managed to stay on so long, my work, my school, my kids, my church, - the reasons to keep staying - are also the reasons to go. More and more I think that I do want to make teaching a career. And staying in Singapore for three years might very well be worth it. I love what I do but when I look in the mirror, I wonder if I have the potential to be a good teacher. Can anyone imagine me making teaching my life? Anyone?
Audio: Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus / Give/ With Or Without You / Your Love Oh Lord medley by Third Day.
Biblio: I love my kids to death. And these arn't even m kids.
posted by The Chilibuddy @ 3:50 pm ::
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