WHAT DO I WANT?

Nagatahama: The Bluest Beach in Japan!

Actually, I still don't realize how much time I have. For some reason, the brevity of my time here hasn't quite sunk in. And I have a few suggestions why. Because, maybe I have doubts about leaving and about going. Some part of me wonders if putting the time out to serve in Thailand is going to lose me yet another future partner (again). I don't know this yet and maybe I will never know because I am going.

Back when I served the church in Sydney, the fateful year when Josh and I broke up, I couldn't be there in time to salvage any mistakes because I had dedicated my time to be away serving over the summer. Thankfully, it's not quite so drastic this time and hopefully nothing that painful. Still, I don't think its fair.

I'm certain of course that my time in Thailand will be fruitfully and abundantly blessed and that whatever I currently imagine I might gain in not being in Thailand - a hypothesis contrary to fact - will surpass even my grandest expectation, if I put my 200% into it. I have to put my 100% at least and nothing less though. But my head has to get over its reluctant malaise of self and want to be serving in Thailand.

Which was what I wanted anyway!

Audio: 行きたくなったら行くんだ by Fyugi Nagira.
Biblio: The Wind Up Bird Chronicles by Haruki Murakami.
Cerebrio: For someone who wasn't ever keen on staying on in Japan its strange that I don't want to countdown to leave!