OF HUMILITY AND GRACE
While at dinner with a bunch of friends after church yesterday, we were on the topic of one of the bloke's bride-to-be. He was talking about types of people and the things they wanted that set them apart in certain demographics. (Yes, we are on that topic again.)
86% of Singapore's population live in apartments built by the Ministry of National Development. Then there's the proportion of those outside that percentage that live in private apartments. That puts me (and my family) somewhere in the smaller percentage of that 14% who live in private housing who own their own houses.
While I do not really think I can be considered to belong in the upper middle class strata, the statistics prove me wrong. And when I think about the relativism of it, it makes some sense to me. I may not live in a house as big as other landed properties, or earn as much as others yet, when asked yesterday, "how many of your relatives live in public apartments?" I really could think of only one. ONE.
Now most Singaporeans (the 86%) - including those I dined with yesterday - would have answered in reverse, "Only one of my relatives live and own their own house (and the rest live in public apartments)."
I would be at my most humble moment considering "alright... I concede I shall not ask for too much so yes, its perfectly fine to live in a 3-room public apartment" (as oppose to wanting to live in a 5-room private condominium) but then realizing that it would not be what I had in mind but in fact an apartment with 2-bedrooms and a living/dining room and are you SURE thats what you want being asked for me. Point being I was naively innocent and plainly ignorant of what the lingo meant because of the social demographics I fall into.
I'm not quite sure how to react when faced with such statistics that almost seem to ostracize me for belonging to the perceived 'elite middle-upper class'. It would not be appropriate (would it?) to apologize for belonging in a demographics I have no control over, a group I fall into because of my parents and my upbringing which they were responsible for.
It is a hard social impression to change even though based on my income, I would fall quite comfortably into the lower-middle class at highest and that many others living in public housing easily earn 2-3x more than me. Once again, is that because I need less because what has been provided to me by my parents and that others source for more because responsibility falls on them to provide that need?
My only defence was that, who really was to blame? I told this husband-to-be that as a future spouse from the middle class you might scratch your head and wonder (with some power-to-the-people-pride and disdain for how on earth this person who had private schooling, could not know what all the street-lingo really meant and what it would be like to live in public housing since a huge majority of the population do. But as a father to be, would you not want your kid to get the best that was possible, space and privacy in the family house as could be afforded, the best education that could be bought, the most comfortable that money could buy and all that? To that argument, my personal case would be that I only got a social conscience at about 18 and then shortly after made sense of that overseas. What is more is that I have lived away from this place so long, so what street-lingo I know, I've only learnt in the last 7 months.
I recall the shock my mother barely hid when she came to visit my choice-of-living in Sydney. I was quite proud I had manage to find something that safe and cosy for that little amount of money I had but the joint parental opinion was that Dad would not approve at all of my living conditions, no child of his was going to be living that squalid. I hardly thought of it that way. So, there it was, and she arranged that I should live in a private loft in the city that was an extension of a hotel. What can I say? The reception entrance, the security screening, the city location, the indoor pool and gym, the roof-top garden was all very extravagant but of course I enjoyed it! So whose fault is it? Their's for not letting me live in the location I afforded or mine for enjoying what they wanted to provide? See, if I told them right now that social conscience deemed I should move out of the house they provide, rent a room far away from the city that I could actually afford, I think they would be quite upset at turning away what they worked hard to provide for. So, here I am stuck in a rock and a hard place.
I guess that's what true humility and grace is about. Knowing that I have something that I could never afford and yet enjoying it because that is what the provider wanted me to have.
86% of Singapore's population live in apartments built by the Ministry of National Development. Then there's the proportion of those outside that percentage that live in private apartments. That puts me (and my family) somewhere in the smaller percentage of that 14% who live in private housing who own their own houses.
While I do not really think I can be considered to belong in the upper middle class strata, the statistics prove me wrong. And when I think about the relativism of it, it makes some sense to me. I may not live in a house as big as other landed properties, or earn as much as others yet, when asked yesterday, "how many of your relatives live in public apartments?" I really could think of only one. ONE.
Now most Singaporeans (the 86%) - including those I dined with yesterday - would have answered in reverse, "Only one of my relatives live and own their own house (and the rest live in public apartments)."
I would be at my most humble moment considering "alright... I concede I shall not ask for too much so yes, its perfectly fine to live in a 3-room public apartment" (as oppose to wanting to live in a 5-room private condominium) but then realizing that it would not be what I had in mind but in fact an apartment with 2-bedrooms and a living/dining room and are you SURE thats what you want being asked for me. Point being I was naively innocent and plainly ignorant of what the lingo meant because of the social demographics I fall into.
I'm not quite sure how to react when faced with such statistics that almost seem to ostracize me for belonging to the perceived 'elite middle-upper class'. It would not be appropriate (would it?) to apologize for belonging in a demographics I have no control over, a group I fall into because of my parents and my upbringing which they were responsible for.
It is a hard social impression to change even though based on my income, I would fall quite comfortably into the lower-middle class at highest and that many others living in public housing easily earn 2-3x more than me. Once again, is that because I need less because what has been provided to me by my parents and that others source for more because responsibility falls on them to provide that need?
My only defence was that, who really was to blame? I told this husband-to-be that as a future spouse from the middle class you might scratch your head and wonder (with some power-to-the-people-pride and disdain for how on earth this person who had private schooling, could not know what all the street-lingo really meant and what it would be like to live in public housing since a huge majority of the population do. But as a father to be, would you not want your kid to get the best that was possible, space and privacy in the family house as could be afforded, the best education that could be bought, the most comfortable that money could buy and all that? To that argument, my personal case would be that I only got a social conscience at about 18 and then shortly after made sense of that overseas. What is more is that I have lived away from this place so long, so what street-lingo I know, I've only learnt in the last 7 months.
I recall the shock my mother barely hid when she came to visit my choice-of-living in Sydney. I was quite proud I had manage to find something that safe and cosy for that little amount of money I had but the joint parental opinion was that Dad would not approve at all of my living conditions, no child of his was going to be living that squalid. I hardly thought of it that way. So, there it was, and she arranged that I should live in a private loft in the city that was an extension of a hotel. What can I say? The reception entrance, the security screening, the city location, the indoor pool and gym, the roof-top garden was all very extravagant but of course I enjoyed it! So whose fault is it? Their's for not letting me live in the location I afforded or mine for enjoying what they wanted to provide? See, if I told them right now that social conscience deemed I should move out of the house they provide, rent a room far away from the city that I could actually afford, I think they would be quite upset at turning away what they worked hard to provide for. So, here I am stuck in a rock and a hard place.
I guess that's what true humility and grace is about. Knowing that I have something that I could never afford and yet enjoying it because that is what the provider wanted me to have.
posted by The Chilibuddy @ 1:35 pm ::
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