COUNTDOWN TO WIPEOUT
2 weeks ago I started sniffing a bit. When that happens I know that my body is working too hard. This week I started taking the cab to school cause my resilience started giving way and also because I started needed to 'find' pockets of time to do my work ever since my afternoons were spent examining O'level oral candidates.
Week 8. Yesterday I spiraled to wipeout. Exhausted, I ploughed on through 11 candidates, made my facial appointment where I was mostly dazed and had dinner with Andy. I knew by then I was not going to make it to work the next day so attempted to swing by school at 8pm to see if I could pick up work to do at home. Nada, the guards had locked it all up.
Came home, popped a clarinase and jumped into bed at 930pm - which is when I've been sleeping for the last week to avoid major sleep debt. But I tossed and turned despite being so tired and stuffy. So, I'm up now trying to shake of this insomnia...
I'm surprised I've lasted this long without succumbing earlier - totally God's grace - but having succumbed now makes me think that I've pushed myself too hard again. Aside from starting work and wedding planning on the side I have been trying to keep busyness on the low profile. Teaching consumes me, the work is much, the hours can be long but I do find myself naturally inclined to think of what is best for my wards constantly. It is good work to do. And half my kids show very worthwhile returns.
This is a poem one of the 15-year old students in my literature class came up with after a lesson on personification:
Listen To The Sea
The night dreams of a brand new start
The moon guides me to the Ocean’s heart.
The sky remembers the day,
That the stars danced my sorrows away.
The sea listens to my cries,
And the stone looks at me in surprise.
Dawn brings the brand new day
As morning shows me a new way.
- S. L.
They really seem to enjoy literature class as much as I've enjoyed teaching them. We've rapped poems to hip hop beats for rhythm work, recited and created poetry. I even had one kid come up to me with his fist thumping his heart saying, "Emo, man. Emo." as if to show their engagement with the material. I have been surprised that took to creating poetry so keenly.
What worries me is that this is just the beginning. How long can I keep up such "well-loved" lessons? I have been given grace and haven't yet taken up all the full responsibilities so I worry for when that happens, how I will balance personal life and how I can include ministry life which is just not happening at the moment.
Tomorrow, I stay in my jammies and mark scripts to turn in for this terms report. At least they are mostly scripts worth reading.
Week 8. Yesterday I spiraled to wipeout. Exhausted, I ploughed on through 11 candidates, made my facial appointment where I was mostly dazed and had dinner with Andy. I knew by then I was not going to make it to work the next day so attempted to swing by school at 8pm to see if I could pick up work to do at home. Nada, the guards had locked it all up.
Came home, popped a clarinase and jumped into bed at 930pm - which is when I've been sleeping for the last week to avoid major sleep debt. But I tossed and turned despite being so tired and stuffy. So, I'm up now trying to shake of this insomnia...
I'm surprised I've lasted this long without succumbing earlier - totally God's grace - but having succumbed now makes me think that I've pushed myself too hard again. Aside from starting work and wedding planning on the side I have been trying to keep busyness on the low profile. Teaching consumes me, the work is much, the hours can be long but I do find myself naturally inclined to think of what is best for my wards constantly. It is good work to do. And half my kids show very worthwhile returns.
This is a poem one of the 15-year old students in my literature class came up with after a lesson on personification:
Listen To The Sea
The night dreams of a brand new start
The moon guides me to the Ocean’s heart.
The sky remembers the day,
That the stars danced my sorrows away.
The sea listens to my cries,
And the stone looks at me in surprise.
Dawn brings the brand new day
As morning shows me a new way.
- S. L.
They really seem to enjoy literature class as much as I've enjoyed teaching them. We've rapped poems to hip hop beats for rhythm work, recited and created poetry. I even had one kid come up to me with his fist thumping his heart saying, "Emo, man. Emo." as if to show their engagement with the material. I have been surprised that took to creating poetry so keenly.
What worries me is that this is just the beginning. How long can I keep up such "well-loved" lessons? I have been given grace and haven't yet taken up all the full responsibilities so I worry for when that happens, how I will balance personal life and how I can include ministry life which is just not happening at the moment.
Tomorrow, I stay in my jammies and mark scripts to turn in for this terms report. At least they are mostly scripts worth reading.
posted by The Chilibuddy @ 1:46 am ::
2 Comments:
lesson number one:
don't take clarinase before bedtime. they have a caffeine-related stimulant somewhere in there to keep the flu-bug infected people awake during the day when they can't afford to take MC and rest at home.
i can't even take clarinase cos it gives me heart palpitations.
and re: lessons at school, i believe His grace will be enough when the time requires it. *hugs*
-hannaH
nice work with the inspirational cool teaching...and dont forget that "ministry" for now might be teaching those kids to love words and learning and creating things of value...you are doing it!
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