Some pensive thoughts.
I've had a good school year - this semester more so than last and its coming quickly to the end. Two more days and my kids will be on their 'own' to take their graduating exams. I'm glad we're here. I don't know much about next year yet but I think its a good time for me to start contemplating so that I can make some guesstimates about what I want to achieve. Right now, I have another one and a half years before my bond-term ends so its a bit like a time line to work on.
It's also quick coming to our first wedding anniversary. At the start of our marriage, Andy brought up the idea of serving. Actually, we'd long been thinking about the options but somehow those doors were closed for me. So, we agreed that we'd start off with a year of 'sabbatical', focusing first on our marriage and then come one year, we'll start serving in a big way.
So, there's kinda where we are. Subconsciously, I'd been thinking about what else to do with myself here in Singapore. My life is remarkably comfortable - this despite Andy's tentative job situation. I'm asking where I'd be most alive for Christ and Andy's charting new territory with young people at church (and MAYBE at work) though that has yet to be set in concrete how.
I've been active in the church discipleship group for a year and I'm so glad I've found a bunch of like-minded friends. Of course, I challenge and doubt if I should get this comfortable. Still, I'm so glad some are really good friends. I can relate to these folk. I've been frustrated when they're frustrated, happy when they've been happy, sad when they've been sad.
Life was sweet a few years ago. I remember telling someone that if I really really thought hard about it, there was seriously nothing I could think of that I wished to change. Life was cruisy, everything in rose-tinted glasses or something like that. But in that same breath, I remember saying that there was a time and season for everything and in time, there would be another season of contriteness. So, this year, while it took us by surprise, it really shouldn't have been that unexpected for me.
I'd like to think that has come and gone but I'm not really sure... This 'iffy-ness' that Andy and I live with now with his work situation, is what I think most probably God would like us to live with, like a thorn in the flesh that reminds us that we are daily dependent on him. Its bittersweet because I love that I am reminded about how he is in charge of everything and ask everything of him but so sad that it takes this to make me kneel. I've never prayed this much for just one person, but that is Him teaching me what I need to do for our marriage. Would I want either of us to have a high-flying job where life is so comfortable? It's so difficult to say no - or yes. How do I thank Him for this 'problem' that he has blessed me with?
So, next year we will serve, we will make physical steps to work toward missions - I want to make next year count, make some changes, take some strides and accomplish new things. I know 'they' want me to do newer and bigger things next year to 'stretch' me at work but I'm going to shirk away from it. I want to do newer and bigger things next year and be stretched in other dimensions and more intangible areas of my life.
Meanwhile, I'm still trying to plan as far as my December vacation will take me. Will it be Japan? Hawaii or San Francisco?
It's also quick coming to our first wedding anniversary. At the start of our marriage, Andy brought up the idea of serving. Actually, we'd long been thinking about the options but somehow those doors were closed for me. So, we agreed that we'd start off with a year of 'sabbatical', focusing first on our marriage and then come one year, we'll start serving in a big way.
So, there's kinda where we are. Subconsciously, I'd been thinking about what else to do with myself here in Singapore. My life is remarkably comfortable - this despite Andy's tentative job situation. I'm asking where I'd be most alive for Christ and Andy's charting new territory with young people at church (and MAYBE at work) though that has yet to be set in concrete how.
I've been active in the church discipleship group for a year and I'm so glad I've found a bunch of like-minded friends. Of course, I challenge and doubt if I should get this comfortable. Still, I'm so glad some are really good friends. I can relate to these folk. I've been frustrated when they're frustrated, happy when they've been happy, sad when they've been sad.
Life was sweet a few years ago. I remember telling someone that if I really really thought hard about it, there was seriously nothing I could think of that I wished to change. Life was cruisy, everything in rose-tinted glasses or something like that. But in that same breath, I remember saying that there was a time and season for everything and in time, there would be another season of contriteness. So, this year, while it took us by surprise, it really shouldn't have been that unexpected for me.
I'd like to think that has come and gone but I'm not really sure... This 'iffy-ness' that Andy and I live with now with his work situation, is what I think most probably God would like us to live with, like a thorn in the flesh that reminds us that we are daily dependent on him. Its bittersweet because I love that I am reminded about how he is in charge of everything and ask everything of him but so sad that it takes this to make me kneel. I've never prayed this much for just one person, but that is Him teaching me what I need to do for our marriage. Would I want either of us to have a high-flying job where life is so comfortable? It's so difficult to say no - or yes. How do I thank Him for this 'problem' that he has blessed me with?
So, next year we will serve, we will make physical steps to work toward missions - I want to make next year count, make some changes, take some strides and accomplish new things. I know 'they' want me to do newer and bigger things next year to 'stretch' me at work but I'm going to shirk away from it. I want to do newer and bigger things next year and be stretched in other dimensions and more intangible areas of my life.
Meanwhile, I'm still trying to plan as far as my December vacation will take me. Will it be Japan? Hawaii or San Francisco?
posted by The Chilibuddy @ 2:18 pm ::
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