My Kingdom of Comfort

Kingdom of Comfort is so good it hurts.

My heart is so broken but I keep getting told to wait, that its not time. I want to do something (soon), but I don't know what God wants, what I can, or how. I end up spending most of my time on things that I know I don't really care about. And thing things that I do (at work) that I care about, I'm have so much off that I'm spread too thin.

So, I'm frustrated about this vicious cycle, frustrated when I remember what I should do that its painful.

That's why I don't want to read about it or talk about it. Everytime I do, I feel like banging my head on a wall.

I have, quite literally, 'built myself a happy home In my palace on my own' this time around, I sometimes forget where I came from. I try to make sense of the things I've seen, what I've done before, between the poverty I know and the five star dream that I live.

But what does that mean for me who goes out to buys furniture or a book shelf or a sound system for the house? I'm quite happy with the home maybe that's the problem. Should we have spent what God's given us this way? I almost feel bad that our palace, our retreat from the world is this good.

Paddling to stay afloat

First week, I was in Nepal for a school mission/service trip - which was good for some and better for others. I would go again. In very different circumstances.

Second week, we were uptown for church camp which was excellent. We got to meet more new faces and get to know those we knew even better. Plus, Andy and I hadn't seen each other for a week so he was quite lovely.

This week. We move. I move today. Our new apartment after a six month wait. Huzzah!

It's fab. We haven't fully furnished it but the reno is done and we're moving in today!

At least there's something to keep my spirits up. Otherwise I'm not looking forward to returning to school next week to prep for the second semester of the year. And the truth is, I'm also worrying for Andy's work which I can't really divulge any further. Everytime I think about it and worry about it, I try to take it captive and submit it to God but then it keeps coming back...

Next week, we're also going to have a six-month review of our marriage so far with our marriage counsellor and we're meeting up with missions people to see how we can work toward our goal.

... so, we keep paddling water to stay afloat.