THE WARMTH IS CALLING MY NAME

2006, didn't start out with a bang. January was kind of a letdown as beginning-of-the-years go. Febuary was a slight improvement. 

I did however try to have as much fun as I could find, like having The Monday Night crew every week here over great food and even better company; like coasting down the hill pillon on Dave's teeny bike, breaking 2 spokes on his wheel in the process... We have to go riding down the hills once the weather warms up. 

Still, there was a kind of gloomy greyness to it that reflected the weather. Weather reflecting life or life reflecting the weather. The Winter Doldrums. I'm moving to the tropics. 

I remember saying that same thing at the beginning of last year, deciding to move to Thailand and come late spring in May, I changed my mind, forgetting all about the weather. And despite the social circumstances in my face during summer, summer down in the equator was all it took to liven up my spirits. You could say the warmth is calling my name.

In fact, so high were my spirits that when I came back, the last quarter of last year was just about excellent even though I had returned to challenging circumstances. This quarter was good but not as fun as I associate beginning of the years with the summer warmth of the southern hemisphere. But, I'm going back for a little under a week to relieve myself of the doldrums. :-) I endeavour to have as much fun as I can and not take the weather with me. 

Audio: Amazing Love by Vineyard Music.
Biblio: -/-
Cerebrio: In this life, you will have many troubles... (John 16:33) No need to go looking for it.

THAT'S WHY, FOLKS.

Wow. I was saying Blogger's new widget made my publishing so much easier, without having to be on-site in any way shape or pop-up form - as easy as it was to upload images to FlickR from the FlickR Uploader.

Now it gets even easier! Even faster than widgeting, uploading to FlickR is as simple as a right click! I cannot say enough how convenient that makes life.

* * * 

As Mac users, this would be preaching to the choir, but we forget just how simple and intuitive they are. I got a call this arvo;

A: I got my laptop today!
Me: Sweet!
A: I have a question *alarmed*
Me: Yea?
A: How come when I opened up my computer for the first time, it was already connected to the internet?
Me: Because that's why we buy Mac.

Audio: Wherever You Go by The Calling.
Biblio: Mac sites.
Cerebrio: Done packing. One step toward home.

BLOGGER HAS A WIDGET

It's just more proof of how intuitive Apple/Mac products can be! Blogger's BlogThis pop-up has been a great convenience to blogging; putting up entries without having to go through the Blogger website. But how about blogging entries in a separate application? 

FlickR has done this with its FlickR uploader which saves a lot of hassle when uploading pictures. I don't have to access FlickR > Upload and individually enter the files I want to upload. With the uploader, I drag and drop them into the application and hit upload. Then when I go FlickR, they are all there. FlickR has even gone the next step forward and enabled photoblogging to any blogger site with a simple click. 

The new Blogger widget is my answer. It's the small separate application I wanted which would let me publish my entries without having to access through my webbrowser. 

Audio: Boom Shake Shake The Room by Will Smith.
Biblio: Wrong About Japan by Peter Carey.
Cerebrio: This was posted from the Blogger widget. Totally sweet. 

I LOVE TO READ MONTH

It is every K-3 grade teacher's dream to hear her students squeal with delight, "READING! I love to read!". I know, sounds highly improbably that five and six year olds can react that strongly to of all things, single and double vowelled word cards. And what a joy it is to watch their determined and accomplished reaction to their reading books. I am quite proud of having taken a bunch of pre-readers from no reading to a high reading proficiency within six months. What rocks my world is how on top of that they have picked up speed-reading in an attempt to be the best at reading the words.

Audio: Children squealing in the school yard.
Biblio: Screwtape proposes a toast by C.S. Lewis.
Cerebrio: My job is done! This is what I was hired for! They love reading! OMG!

GOING KOREAN

A Korean Feast; Bulgogi, Buta-Kimchee, Bibimpap, Wakamezuppe

ONE THING I LIKE ABOUT WORKING

If there is one thing I do like about working, its that when I'm working I don't think about anything else; can't worry about the finances, or how the future will turn out or how people's reaction. It's just me and my work; laughing with the kids at the challenge of teaching them something worthwhile learning.

Audio: -/-
Biblio:
Cerebrio: How is it I can not go shopping and yet spend so much money?

LIKE MOVING TO A NEW COUNTRY

There has been a particular issue on my mind now for what seems like a long time. It's not a problem, its just an issue my mind keeps mulling over and chewing. I'll have it, chew on it, sit on it and let it go. Then it comes popping out in a few weeks time. It's happened about nine to ten times in the last four months. So, yes I am a bit tired of it. I don't know that this issue will go away for awhile. I can only see two routes that will bring my mind to an ease about it; either choice will still take some time in coming and for the life of me, I really don't know which of the two I'd rather though I would have thought I would want one way more.

Unfortunately, I cannot mention it here - mentioning it the way I am thinking about it, will very easily get misconstrued. Misconstrued from what is the thing since I haven't come up with my decided opinion on the matter.

In some ways, the rest of my life is on hold until a few things happen in March. So much for planning. I am mostly at ease about that yet I feel anticipation and excitement in the new chapter about to unfold. Yet, in other avenues, I feel I am being needlessly pressured. (See: Above). How I deal with this pressure is the new challenge for me. I've never had to seriously consider this pressure up close till recently. Mental note: Have to ask God for guidance in the matter of dealing with this pressure.

I have a confirmation on my flight back to Singapore. The cogs of the wheel are in motion. I have a confirmation on the interview in Singapore. One step toward the future outcome. I have been reminded about packing stuff home. It's really happening.

Flatmate: So how do you feel about moving back to Singapore?

Me: I never thought I'd say this - excited really.

Flatmate: Because of whose in Singapore?

Me: No, not really at all. I had already decided I was going to do this last year... It's exciting cause it feels I'm moving to a new country.

Flatmate: A new country... ?

Me: Yeah, a huge circle of my mates from there have left or will leave Singapore. And my circle of friends where I have been are global. Those that are still in Singapore have become different persons too and part of the reason I'm going back now is to get to know these "new" friends of mine in that way. So, while they are close and dear, I don't feel as if I have that same current of "friends" in there.

I have been away so long that I am totally a different person from when I left and I think I've been away long enough that, that different person is very me now. Since then, I haven't studied there in the way that I will, haven't lived with my parents, don't have friends from my adult life, don't have a set niche, "my place", in Singapore. So, in many ways I will have to start my life there from scratch. It's like that when you move to any new country, you start from scratch; where you will live, how you will live, what you will do, the culture you will see... That is the exciting thing about going to a new place isn't it?

Audio: Stars by Switchfoot.
Biblio: The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis.
Cerebrio: The beautiful thing is that even though I'm going back, I feel I am going forward. I have never thought or felt that way about moving to Singapore before. I feel almost ready to move to there in a few months. It's almost time.

SPRING CLEANING

In the last three years, my music collection has voluminiously exploded. Mostly in part due to my move to Japan where music truly soothes the savage beast inside me when no other language can. I don't remember needing music this much in my day when I was working in Sydney.

It's so large that, it was taking up almost a third of my harddrive space. What makes it embarassing for me is that, some of them I had only played once through and others I didn't even know existed in my libary. So, I'm being a savage beast on rampage to clear out the not-needed.

I was going to comment that the weather these few days had warmed up. I even dared skip my thermal layer the last two days. The persistent greyness and rain is a sign that it isn't cold enough to snow anymore! The consistent wet-one-half-cold-the-other week means that the weather's deciding to warm up or not. As it turns out, the rain stop so now I am back to the cold front again.

Audio: Spoken For by MercyMe.
Biblio: Apple Pages 2 User Guide.
Cerebrio: I am tired of the cold already!

TRUE WIRELESSNESS

Ever since I got my new puppy, I haven't used it at my desk. Uptil now I guess I hadn't fully appreciated true wireless-ness. There are so many secret shortcuts, hidden helpers and mysterious menus and cool apps to play with.

Meanwhile, l still had two bummer news this week.
- A friend of mine got bummer news from her boyfriend the day before V-day. I'm not a big advocate of V-day but I have enough sensibility to know that you don't let anyone down in a letter the day before Valentine's Day. I don't care what kind of man you are, there is just no balls in doing that.

- I had a great team of worship leaders in place for church, but due to a few interpersonal snafus, one of them has decided to leave. That's not the bummer news. What's bummer is that at one point of time, I might have had left for her same reason. But I didn't (let myself) see it coming to give her the red alert.

Audio: The Dick Van Dyke Show (and Visio...)
Biblio: The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis.
Cerebrio: Did I fail my responsibility as the teams leader?

MY NEW PUPPY!

This is mine now!

I got this new puppie as the weekend began. In fact, I got tonnes of toys and things this weekend in the mail. Andy sent over Wrong about Japan by Peter Carey in the mail, which I totally had my eyes on, then I got The box of Apple sent to school friday afternoon. And, while I was fondling my new toy on saturday morning, I got a beary valentines parcel.



Benet now has a big Bear-ther.

My eyes lit up friday arvo as I was about to clock out. As I made my way through the office, the school reception informed me duly that "an Apple box" had arrived for me. A few of my students were in the corridor and overheard it and couldn't resist asking me what was in the box as I carried it through.

Student: Miss, what's that?

Me: It's an Apple box.

Student: An apple box? Can I see?

Me: But I haven't opened it yet.

Student: Can I smell?

Me: Yea, sure... (She proceeds to sniff the box.)

Student: Hhmpff. It doesn't smell very good!

Audio: Your Touch by Kutless.
Biblio: The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis.
Cerebrio: A fully English-operable Mac with Japanese International Keyboard. Mmmhhrm. Total touchtype.

The new LEGO-BOOK designed by AIS.

The new LEGO-BOOK designed by AIS.
99x Lighter. Dreams DO come true.

You've dreamt about it long enough. Now it has a name the Lego-Book. Powered by a single engine: Imagination. With built in i-Sight camera located at the top of the notebookand an extendable Air-port wireless antenna. And fully collapsible and re-designable. Configure on the fly!

One of the kids in school put this together at lunch time this week... It even has a bouncing Safari and Mail icon in the dock!

Audio: Something Stupid by Robbie Williams & Nicole from Swing When You're Winning album.
Biblio: The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis.
Cerebrio:

WHAT MAKES THE FUTURE

Recently, I've been mulling a lot about what makes the future; what makes the future work? How does anyone make their future work out?

I believe in God and I believe it really is Him that does the making of things to work out. Or do I? Cause sometimes I cast my eye to as far as I can imagine, what I want to imagine, and while what I hope for is good (who hopes for something bad?), I cannot see how I am ever going to get there. In fact when I imagine what I hope for, I despair in how I would get there.

Then I plot how I would endeavour to get there; what I would have to do, how I would have to do it, what sort of compromises I would have to make to see my hope to the end. Then I look at all the steps I might take and wonder if I really want to take those steps. Maybe I don't. So, maybe what I was hoping for isn't really want I want. Afterall, you only get to a destination as result of the choices you choose to make.

It's like running in a labyrinth but all the turns you could take, only lead you to a dead-end. So you keep running into that no-win situation. How does one not despair at knowing you are destined to fail? How do you keep the faith, keep running through it hoping to get somewhere in all this, while knowing that you have no idea the route and that all the efforts you could make to choose would only take you to a dead-end?

All sorts of things serve to stumble me. A friend of mine recently commented that amongst other things that, "the world, Satan, is quite definitely against marriage". Marriage, relationships, you name it, anything that could be of value to us. Face it. The odds are completely stacked against us. Completely and utterly. Just about anything, could be used to set off a curve ball straight into your life. And you won't even see it coming cause your eyes are all out busy looking everywhere trying to keep your life at balance, your dream job, your dream marriage, your dream home, your dream kids. Don't you see how hard it is to get anywhere at all in life? So, why would you even try?

With what's left of it, you have to ask yourself, "is this it or is there something better?" Yes, cause if this is it then you might as well eat, drink and be merry! Stop, slow down and smell the roses and while you're there, have some company you enjoy. Unless of course, doing just that is part of your desired outcome that you're trying to figure out. You're trying to figure out life and what you want to do and where you want to go. You realize the future's bleak so you decide to take a walk. While you're there, you want to find some company to smell the roses with and talk about how pretty they are. You want some company but don't know who to take with you and whom would want to come along. You find a few whom you think will do, but then a few steps into the walk and you're wondering if this is how you want to walk and whom you want to talk to. Doesn't look like the company talks or walks the same way! What can I do to walk and talk the way I want to? What do I have to do to get that? And what about those roses? Wasn't that the point anyway?! Where are they?! Why am I looking at the company and not the roses?! Then its like Alice in Wonderland falling down the stairs.

Travel long and far enough with those thoughts and you'll see that it is a downward spiral. And I am just falling down and down and down, faster and faster and faster. In fact, all I can do is freefall. I am twenty-six years old and I have no idea how the future works and how I can work anything for the good of me. No idea. You know how useless and helpless that makes me feel? Yea, God loves a broken and contrite heart...

Yet I am to believe that the Lord, "knows the plans he has for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future." But just like Thomas, I have to ask, "Lord, I don't know where you are taking me, so how can I know the way?"

The Way? Let's cut the church-talk there and let me say it, "How am I supposed to walk this christian life with all the things we are supposed to do like love your God and love your neighbour when I don't even know can't even do one thing OR the other?" Pare it down the the lowest possibility and I still don't know how to do it right. In fact all I know how to do is to ask. So, Jesus is the way, huh? Ask him for anything in his name, and he will do it. The odds are completely and utterly stacked against me and I am completely and utterly dependent on Him to make things work out?

Oh God.

MAYBE IN SOME PARALLEL UNIVERSE

I just found out my aunt passed away - from my sister's blog.

It's weird reading about it. It feels strange that I won't be there. It feels strange that I don't see the funeral. It feels strange that I don't see my relatives in mourning.

It's as if, as might have been usual for her in her single days, that she was off on a long-haul trip somewhere around the globe. And it might be awhile till she'll come around at the door with some spectacular thing from an exotic place somewhere.

Audio: -/-
Biblio: The Wind-up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami.
Cerebrio: I would definitely be able to trace some of my wanderlust ...

雨曇後雪弱

It is one miserably cold day today. I had to endure the slush and rain to get to the Immigration Office this afternoon. Soaked through my jeans but the good news is that I have legal status again in Japan.

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Help me to RID my endless fears
You've been so faithful for all my years
With the one breath You make me new
Your grace covers all I do


Audio: I Will Walk By Faith by Jeremy Camp.
Biblio: A Wind-up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami.
Cerebrio: It's great about the visa, but I'm also closer to knowing when I will leave....

MONEYWISE

I've decided to return to studying Financial Management. I've put it away for the time I've been in Japan since I had little access to the markets and secondly it was simply a time to build up my savings - of which I still have very little.

But, seeing as how I am returning to my motherland soon, entering a new phase of life (I cann just feel it in my bones), its about time I get my finances on track. So one of my goals for 2006 is to get moneywise.

The first thing I am going to do, is buy myself another liability - the iBook G4.

Audio: Listen To Your Hear by DHT.
Biblio: The Wind-up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami.
Cerebrio: It's so hard to come up with a good reason to put away this iBook G3 but now I have a buyer. And, I don't need the bulldozer power of the MacBook...