COUNTDOWN TO WIPEOUT

2 weeks ago I started sniffing a bit. When that happens I know that my body is working too hard. This week I started taking the cab to school cause my resilience started giving way and also because I started needed to 'find' pockets of time to do my work ever since my afternoons were spent examining O'level oral candidates.

Week 8. Yesterday I spiraled to wipeout. Exhausted, I ploughed on through 11 candidates, made my facial appointment where I was mostly dazed and had dinner with Andy. I knew by then I was not going to make it to work the next day so attempted to swing by school at 8pm to see if I could pick up work to do at home. Nada, the guards had locked it all up.

Came home, popped a clarinase and jumped into bed at 930pm - which is when I've been sleeping for the last week to avoid major sleep debt. But I tossed and turned despite being so tired and stuffy. So, I'm up now trying to shake of this insomnia...

I'm surprised I've lasted this long without succumbing earlier - totally God's grace - but having succumbed now makes me think that I've pushed myself too hard again. Aside from starting work and wedding planning on the side I have been trying to keep busyness on the low profile. Teaching consumes me, the work is much, the hours can be long but I do find myself naturally inclined to think of what is best for my wards constantly. It is good work to do. And half my kids show very worthwhile returns.

This is a poem one of the 15-year old students in my literature class came up with after a lesson on personification:

Listen To The Sea
The night dreams of a brand new start
The moon guides me to the Ocean’s heart.
The sky remembers the day,
That the stars danced my sorrows away.
The sea listens to my cries,
And the stone looks at me in surprise.
Dawn brings the brand new day
As morning shows me a new way.
- S. L.

They really seem to enjoy literature class as much as I've enjoyed teaching them. We've rapped poems to hip hop beats for rhythm work, recited and created poetry. I even had one kid come up to me with his fist thumping his heart saying, "Emo, man. Emo." as if to show their engagement with the material. I have been surprised that took to creating poetry so keenly.

What worries me is that this is just the beginning. How long can I keep up such "well-loved" lessons? I have been given grace and haven't yet taken up all the full responsibilities so I worry for when that happens, how I will balance personal life and how I can include ministry life which is just not happening at the moment.

Tomorrow, I stay in my jammies and mark scripts to turn in for this terms report. At least they are mostly scripts worth reading.

TEN

I'm surprised I got tagged but hey...

Each player of this game starts off with TEN weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own TEN weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose SIX people to be tagged and list their names. NO TAG BACKS.

1. Despite failing poorly in my 2nd language, I did a short student exchange in Beijing while in highschool. And I still failed poorly.

2. In elementary school, my mother had my sister and I involved in child modeling - my sister relished the camera, I hated every moment of it. The poofy skirts, the make-up, the patent shoes, the long boring hours... urgh.

3. When I was four, I asked if I could have drum lessons. My mother said no. My second choice was for a stringed instrument - violin, also no. So I had to settle for piano. I didn't make it past grade one and I still think if I had the chance, I would be an okay drummer.

4. I like to write with 3B lead in my pencil cause its real dark.

5. After studying the bible for oh-so-many-years, I cannot recite verses to reference numbers except something about God loving the world and giving his only Son. I am much better at remembering biblical concepts and precepts.

6. I have two places of utmost importance in a house - the bathroom because showers make such a world of difference to me. I shower every time I come home even if I showered just before leaving the house, drove down to get dinner and back up again. The other place is my bed.

7. I need at least 7 hours of sleep to be human, 8 to be nice and 9 to be bubbly.

8. I like green drinks - avocado juice, wheatgrass juice - I don't think its a weird colour to drink at all but I hate orange-coloured food or drinks with a vengeance.

9. But, I hate green beans. I also hate red beans and that thing called 'tau suan'.

10. I thought for so long to write 10 wierd things about myself, I realize I am not really that wierd after all, just perhaps misunderstood most of the time :-)

THE LONG WEEKEND CLEARING WORK

It's so good to have a long weekend after working for about 2 months. 2 months feels like a long time when you are a teacher so a 4 day weekend is just bliss. But I was too busy to see that it was coming and plan for a getaway.

Instead, I'm using the time to clear out some marking and plan the examination papers before I have to spend the next two chaotic weeks shuttling between campus and O'level oral examinations. I want to use the weekend to spend quality time with Andy since I've been so busy at work and then come home pooped. Yet, I feel that I should put in a bit of work for each day before I spend the rest of it playing -or I just have all this work to do!

A few days ago, while planning the wedding in a little finer detail I also realized that term break is coming up in about three weeks! Whoopdeedo! I plan to use that time to sort out more wedding preparation stuff and put it out of the way.

If there's anything I'm thinking, its that this vocation is such a busy one... and if working in Singapore is generally is hectic and that I'm really trying to figure out how to keep my priorities .