On Monastic Life

He who does not try to become the least, the servant of all, cannot remain in peace for long. You have come to serve not to rule... called to suffer and to work, not to idle and gossip away your time. Here men are tried as gold in a furnace. No man can remain unless he desires with all his heart to humble himself before God.

This used to ring true for the monasteries (I believe it still does) but what my take away now is that we are also called to live out the new monasticism.

On Bearing with the Faults of Others

We want them to be perfect, yet we do no correct our own faults.
We wish them to be serverely corrected, yet we will not correct ourselves.
Their great liberty displeases us, yet we would not be denied what we ask.
We would have them bound by laws, yet we will allows to be restrained by in nothing.
It is clear how seldom we think of others as we do of ourselves.

If we were perfect, what should we have to suffer from others for God's sake? But God has so ordained that we may learn to bear with one another's burdens.

Consier it better perhaps to try your patience and to test you, for without such patience and trial, your merits are of little account.

Definitely applicable after last weeks fiascos. It brings new meaning to 'bear another's burdens'.

On Works Done in Charity

... Man's own inclination, his own will, his hope of reward and his self-interest are motives seldom absent.  He who has true and has perfect charity seeks self in nothing, but searches all things for the glory of God. He envies no man, because he desires no personal pleasure nor does he wish to rejoice in himself; rather he desires the greater glory of God above all things. He ascribes to man nothing that is good but attributes in wholly to God...

On Avoiding Rash Judgement

... in judging others, a man labours vainly, often makes mistakes and sins easily; whereas in judging and taking stock of himself, he does something that is always profitable.

So true and so necessary for me to read at this time. I came away from my term break refreshed and excited to start the next term but in 3 days walk away with bitterness, anger and disappointment. I still have difficulty coming to terms with man of the decisions made at work but its true, I was putting my hope in a pet project that I had long set my dreams to accomplish. I also thought I had been doing a thorough job at work generally - I had gotten excellent feedback and affirmation for what I had been doing so when issues about the results surfaced I felt incredibly indignant. I still can't justify both, I still think management has issues to resolve but I know I can't go on wretched like this.

On The Value of Adversity

When to all outward appearances men give us no credit, when they do not think well of us, then we are more inclined to see God who sees our heart. Therefore, a man ought to root himself so firmly in God that he will not need the consolations of men.

How did Apostle Peter heal the lame man?

I'm on term break this week so I'm taking a short break from Thomas a Kempis. Instead, I'll take the next four days to read and ponder Manga Metamorphosis: The Acts of the Apostles.

Already I've had something to think about when reading about the healing miracles that Peter the Apostle did, especially of the lame man that Peter and John healed outside the temple gate called "Beautiful".

I've read that passage a few times, but the beauty of manga really shows the visual storyline (like a movie) which for me, helps me to put the story together. When I'm reading, it is always a movie in my head.

When churches nowadays have healing services, I feel uncomfortable that it becomes a spectacle for others to watch, even (especially so) when they call for believers to bring non-believers or those that need healing.

What struck me was from one lame man, Peter asked, "How has this man been healed?" and then drew the connection to the power of Jesus of whom the world has persecuted. Then he tells them that there were prophets who told them Jesus was coming but they didn't believe.

I've been to a few healing services when I was attending Andy's previous church. But, it is not distinct in my memory that that is the message preached - that the world continues to persecute the name and person of Jesus, that we are told and reminded that Jesus will return, but yet the world continues the same way as the people of Israel then; why don't they believe if they have been told? That they should admit they were wrong, that they misunderstand and that they should repent, receive him as Messiah who will cleanse us?

Instead, healings in our urban mega congregations tend to bring on the message that receive Jesus and he will likewise work the same power of healing in you. Jesus, nor the Apostles never said anything of that nature.

On Acquiring Peace and Zeal for Perfection

If we were to uproot only one vice each year, we should soon become perfect. The contrary, however is often the case - we feel that we were better and purer in the first fervor of our conversion than we are after many years in the practice of our faith. Our fervor and progress ought to increase day by day; yet it is now considered noteworthy if a man can retain even a part of his first fervor.

- - - - - - - -

I was wondering if I had any more or any less of this fervor Thomas a Kempis refers to. I want to say no and yes at the same time. I'm thinking from when I decided that Jesus Christ was it for me and no, it doesn't feel like a huge flaming passion anymore; yes, it feels deeper and stronger. Then again, I accepted Christ when I was six, dawdled and wandered till I was 21. So, it would be almost 9 years now. What about the next 9?

Sometimes I do wonder if my thoughts, passions are straying, being distracted, more so in Singapore than when I had less to my name in Japan. I wonder, when God calls us, when it is time, will we be ready? Are we getting more ready or less and less so as the years go by?

What about you? How does your faith now compare to when you first jumped in the deep end?

There's so much low-hanging fruit

Over the last couple of months, I've been saying that there was some energy bubbling around inside to 'create' something - I don't mean the creation of another lifebeing here. But the desire to actually make something*. Hopefully something I enjoy, something that I could 'put out' as another source of income so I can stick it to the man and not be forever dependent on the system.

I thought about handicraft but I'm aware my aesthetic and fine motor skills are lacking. It crossed my mind to be author I wanted to be but then the stories I wanted to tell then, arn't the stories I feel for anymore. I thought about cooking and I really enjoying making stuff in the kitchen but I've seen my mom start up shop and it requires way too much of my time to devote away from the work I have to do now. Moving further away from the concept of creation, I thought maybe I should separate the two ideas of money-making with creation... I don't have much creative perseverance lying around.

I don't want to earn money because I want more money - I want to make money so I don't have to spend all my time working so that I can devote that time to more valuable things and relationships.

So here are some mental notes I'm piecing together.
1. Andy lost his job, money has been tight, prices went up. We try to make sure our utility use has been as efficient as possible. A also had some stocks from his previous company. Many a times, the dividends had help tide us through.
2. I was reading an article about 'How to make money as a writer'. The most interesting takeaway was to keep your day job, find time to write like you would any other hobby. Not because one sucked being a writer but because if you can manage, the job provides the benefits your job as a freelancer can never. Like medical. A has a bad tooth but we can't take him to the dentist because he doesn't have dental cover and we're tight enough to have to wait till more comes in.
3. I've been following the articles in the 'Money' section of the Straits Times Saturday papers and the one constant I realize is to invest in yourself by starting and owning your own company.
4. I thought about starting some kind of company, but then I don't know what I would the company would do, and if we did decide what our selling point was, I don't know the intricacies of business. I am even leading 4 teams of students as part of my Research & Dev project to start up a sustainable magazine/website business. So, I was still lost.
5. Yesterday, standing around the printer in the office, I was reading another article on 'How to retire early'. All the usual stuff... except my takeaway this time was 'if you can't start your own company or don't know how to, buy into someone else's company' and if you don't know how to do that, do something about the Index-linked ETFs. I made a mental note to find out what they were.
6. Lastly, on the way to town after work, I read another good article about carbon-footprinting and alternative, renewable, clean energy sources. And the sentence that jumped out on me was
"I don't know anyone who has failed to make money at energy efficiency. There's so much low-hanging fruit, it's falling off the trees and mushing up around our ankles.' I remembered another article I read about how when the Bush administration began, the Nordic countries took to investing into renewable energy. Al Gore lost out because he pushed for that. Bush won and pushed for real estate. More houses were built further and further away, the need for transport went up, they sent troops to the middle east to protect their oil investments that they keep paying the middle east for and now everything is falling apart for them. (This is a extremely simplistic summary from my perspective). Meanwhile, Norway is making profits from their energy investments. I really believe energy efficiency and renewability is the way to go.

So, start a company, go into energy - but I don't even have the money for that. But now I have some ideas and am thinking more in that direction.



*Babies don't count since I'm not really the one responsible for the 'making' - God is.

On Obedience and Subjection

It is a very great thing to obey, to live under a superior and not to be one's own master, for it is much safer to be subject than it is to command. Many live in obedience more from necessity than from love. Such (that do) become discontented and dejected on the slightest pretext; they will never gain peace of mind unless they subject themselves wholeheartedly for the love of God.

On Shunning Over-Familiarity

Sometimes it happens that a person enjoys a good reputation amongst those that do not know him... Frequently we think we are pleasing others by our presence and we begin rather to displease them by the faults they find in us.

Do not open your heart to every man, but discuss your affairs with one who is wise and fears God.

On Avoiding False Hope

Do not think of yourself better than others, lest, perhaps, you be accounted worse before God who knows what is in the hearts of men...  For God's judgement differs from those of men and what often pleases men, displeases Him. It does no harm to esteem yourself less than anyone else but it is very harmful to think of yourself better than even one.

On Unbridled Affections

When a man desires a thing too much, he becomes ill at ease... is quickly tempted and overcome by small, trifle evils. He is sad to forego them; quick to anger if reproved. Yet if he satisfies his desires, remorse of conscience overwhelms him because he followed his passions and they did not lead him to the peace he sought.

True peace of heart then is found in resisting passions, not in satisfying them.

In Reading The Holy Scripture

... We ought to read simple and devout books as willingly as learned and profound ones... not to be swayed by the authority of the writer whether to be a great literary light or an insignificant person but by the love of truth... God speaks to us in many ways without regard for person.

On Prudence in Action

Consider all things carefully and patiently in light of God's will... Perfect men do not readily believe every talebearer, because they know that human fraility is prone to evil and likely to appear in speech.

On the doctrine of truth

What good is much discussion of involved and obscure matters when our ignorance of such matters will not be held against us on the day of Judgment?

On the day of judgment, surely we will not be asked what we have read but what we have done; not how well we have spoken but how well we have lived.