36 HOURS

I have managed to sleep for almost 36 hours. If you take away the times I had to get up to relieve myself and my congested nose, it may be 30 hours. That may seem like a disgusting amount of time to be in bed, but my body never felt so exhausted. Someone ran me over and then clobbered my head for added fatigue. Too tired to cook, to eat, to talk to anyone, to type on icq or even email.

I planned on filling up the update over October's shennanigans, but I guess all you really need to know is that I lost internet contact soon after the last entry and then we were bludgeon by the worst typhoon in all of ten years. Soon after picking up the pieces from that, we were spared, but only just barely, in the scale of tectonic plates, the worst earthquake since the Kobe-Hanshin one, also ten years ago.

Thankfully those may only be the cumulative cause of my exhaustion. I was asking for it since my birthday weekend, almost a month ago, when my body seemed to chug a little slower. Then all the weekends from then went progressively slower and I still kept pushing it hard. Like thursday when we invited and cooked dinner for all the teachers at school so we could get to know them all a lil' better. My body immediately revolted on friday.

Life hasn't been bad, it has just been a hassle. Not quite sure why my internet connection suddenly went ker-sputz, I thought I'd problem-solve my iBook just in case it was indeed my fault. So after 3 days of reformatting my hard-drive and only saving the very barest of neccessities (Music: check; Photos:check; Documents:check, Photoshop:check; eDonkey:check), I realise it ain't me, man. I can't believe I almost began to doubt my faith in the Gospel of Mac. Oh, yee of little faith. Back to Japanese telephone roulette to FINDOUTWHATISWRONGWITH
THEINTERNETCONNECTION! If only it were that simple. We had to beat around more bushes before we solved the matter, but what matters is that the matter is solved. Amen.

Audio: You Forgot It In People by Broken Social Scene.
Biblio: The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie Omartian.
Cerebrio: I think its time for bed again.

THE NAKED CHIEF

From today's SMH! Call it aussie humour, only the Aussies' would put something like that on the frontpage! I think I'll save the puns. Hee!

Audio: Phenomenon by TobyMac.
Biblio: Girl With A Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier.
Cerebrio: Whats this?! The tyhpoon has decided not to show up but instead deviated east? Come on! You made me stay home and you didn't show up!

GREAT EXPECTATIONS

It was a mediocre birthday with great intentions to say the least. It started out well enough and was only dampened by the unending downpour.

I had woken up to a birthday breakfast of strawberry grain smoothie, hawaiian coffee and pancakes and two pressie at the table, a book and a bike torch for my mountain bike. Very well thought of presents! And mom and dad called before I left for work. School was generally decent too and the grade above mine pulled me aside for a two minutes after school to sing me a birthday tune. No prizes for guess who was the mastermind behind it. It had been going well!

My plans to salvage the washed out weekend was to go out for dinner for my all time favourite of Japanese cuisines, the sushi bar. But those plans were blown away; it was really miserable weather to be going out and the center of the storm hadn't even arrived yet.

Just for a few hours, one day in a year, I wanted it all to be about me, me and me, but nothing I wanted was going to happen. Not even chilling out at home over the movie Frida which I thought I had rented but, of course, didn't. And just before dinner, I hit my nadir. I just lay on the couch sulking and pouting, trying to reason myself out of it and into good spirits. I knew I was being incredibly selfish this evening and I was validating myself at it. But then I also knew, birthdays weren't all they made out to be. Yes, its a day to celebrate that God saw fit I should join society, but its was also just another regular day, the earth wasn't going to stop circling the sun and the moon wasn't going to hold its place. You could celebrate your existence any day of the year really!

I guess all I wanted for was some attention, thank goodness God loved me enough to have someone give me attention even if I was foul company. And really, that was all I needed to feel a lot better about the fiasco. I am disapointed that the weekend looks like its going to be wasted. On the other hand, I want to step out in faith and believe that God will see through the weekend to make something of it. This time, no high expectations, no fanfare and no fireworks.

Audio: The winds outside my window.
Biblio: The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie Omartian.
Cerebrio: God, if it is your will, show me an open door. Help me want your will for my life even if I don't know what I am getting myself into. Fill me, empower me to face those open doors bravely and give me peace to accept the doors you open and close. Amen.

BUMMED

Just like St. Barnabus but in Japan?
In Ashiya at that. Hard to believe, but true.

I'm a little bummed. I was so looking forward to spending the long weekend ahead in Nagoya with Keely and Laura. Was looking forward to a deserving good time, enjoying myself at someone else's organization expense, namely, Keely's. Sorry hun, not only is it a guest's request, its a birthday girl's one too! Well, was, since yet another typhoon is going the ruin my best laid plans, or Keely's? So, we are not shinkansen-ing to Nagoya for dinner tomorrow, we are not going karaoke, we are not going to trek any autumnal mounts and capture fiery red maple leaves, or be packing a guitar and tambourine on our backpacks to tell it on the mountains, over the hills or anyway else for that matter. A whole week's expectation down the drain.

You know of course what this means. Happy first anniversary Gaijin Cerebrio!

But I can take a God-sign anytime, man. I am going to step forward in faith that He will make this weekend a great anyway.

Yesterday's home group biblestudy was awesome! I enjoying prepping biblestudy just cause I think its a great reason to be spending more time in God's word. But recently, the preps have been slow in revelations and epiphanies. Admittedly, I haven't had as much time as I had on my hands to ruminate on things then when I was in Sydney. But that's where home group has been a great solution. It's really not like I go into it like a teacher asking all the questions (although, I do...) I go into it with all this scraps of information that I want others to know and they come through and concretize it! God blesses indeed!

Was really challenged by what we learnt, exactly what and whom do I approach when I am stumped for a solution? Humanity or Sovereignity? Seeking solution like Saul, so that I look like the rest of the "nations", a "perfect" solution that looks the part to lead me into battle, a head taller than anyone but really a frightened little man inside, hiding in the baggage at coronation, fearful of a loyal soldier called David? or communion with The Creator who started the ball rolling? I'm embarassed to admit that I do have other kings on my throne - I've been going on and on in my update emails about how life here is finally making sense to me and that, it is finally, almost but not quite, perfect. No prizes for guessing what my solution would be.

Audio: Aurora from Vanessa-Mae's Storm album.
Biblio: The Power of A Praying Woman by Stormie Omartian.
Cerebrio: Between Laura and me, we realize that our singlehood is a perfect blessing. If we got the solutions we asked for, what we have would go so pear-shaped. Amen Lord, Amen.

DOING IT SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER STYLE

Fall season has finally arrived. By that I mean the cold weather. Properly cool enough to send me out shopping for some new additions to my fall/winter wardrobe. Once again, Laura and myself almost bought identical items. The good thing about having identical taste in clothes is that we have a a bigger wardrobe between the two of us. The downside is that, we always come out of our rooms wearing almost the same thing. Whoever steps out first gets to keep her choice of clothes!

Monday night is chilled out in here and out there. I went out for a quick but hard bike ride and a lap around the track after work even though I was aching all over cause my resolution of steel was a no-show at Saf's bowling party yesterday. I had almost everything that could be bad for me. You name it, I had it. It was afterall a kid's party. Chocolate, chips, pop-corn, pretz sticks, soda of all variety, spag bol with heapings of cheese, chocolate cakes and ice-cream cake. Safia's like a kid-sister around church. Reminds me a lot of my relationship with my cousin, if only I were in Singapore.



Next to Safia, I look so grown up!

But bowling was fun! It was a little natsukashii! My ex-boyfriends, Aaron used to be a bowler, by that I mean national competition, sports scholarship standard. And at that stage of my life, I was playing the part of the supportive girlfriend at training. Of course, very little of his skill rubbed off on me although we spent a good deal of our time at the bowling alley if we weren't at his comic shop. What did rub off though, was form. I was all style but no skill. So, now my arms are killing me as are my legs where I lunged and twisted. I even sent the ball in the wrong direction at the end when my fingers decided to go on strike. I couldn't be any worse! Thank goodness I didn't say all that before we played!




It's a bowling partee!

Showing 'em how its done. Saturday Night Fever style.

That's a 9 pounder, not a weightless basketball I'm holding!

Praying that they grow into godly women...

Audio: Addicted by Simple Plan.
Biblio: The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie Omartian.
Cerebrio: God, give me the peace that comes from knowing that not only are you in control of the world, you are in control of my world.

My languages of love. One's missing!

Debbie's gone home. Boo hoo. Felt a lil out of sorts about it on the way back but as usual was really hard to track my emotions about it. Frustrated cause I still feel emotionally and mentally unready when it comes to facing Japan on my own. Thank goodness I have Laura to help me cope.

One of the things that has been on my mind for the longest time since mentally prepping for Debbie's departure is that I'm going to miss her hugs. She gave good hugs.

I can go a bit wound up when I don't get to speak that language of love. Some people speak love, some people give parcels love, some people time love, some people serve love and some people touch love. I don't speak much, I'm more lucid in print. I don't have very much to give but I give time and I give service but in return, I know by touch and time.

On the way back, I sussed Laura about it. Someone was going to have to top up the hugs that I was going to miss from Debbie. Debbie, if you're reading this, you must know, you are irreplacable!

But it just had to be done. Factopointo, when you live with a friend turned flatmate, you most likely end up not hugging as much.You miss out on the first and last greeting hugs which was always a very appealing reason to get me out of my mountain to meet Debbie far far away.

Anyway, I got a goodnight hug today. :-)

Audio: Soundtrack to Reality Bites.
Biblio: The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie Omartian.
Cerebrio: I'm getting better at this communicating-my-true-feelings thing! Amen Lord! Give me courage!